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A shadow has fallen over day 7. I promised I wouldn't lie. I smoked a cigarette. I feel guilty, disappointed and I have no excuses. It tasted horrible and definitely wasn't worth it. Tomorrow I am going to clean my house, my car, and wash my mouth out. Then start anew.
I am prone to beating myself up when I make mistakes. I am not going to do that this time. I am human, I make mistakes. I admit my flesh is weak but there is a verse out there that gives me strength "may weak things become strong." I whisper this in my prayers.
The most disappointing moment came when my 3 year old little room-mate couldn't put the sticker on the calendar for my 7th day of non smoking. I will not give up.
As a change of subject, I think I have been a little hard on my Manager. Today I saw him as a man trying to make his place in the world. Just like me. We had a particularly slow day at the branch and try as we might we just couldn't get anything started today, we fell way below our goals. At a moment when I don't think he knew I was watching him, I watched him put his head in his hands and exhale a huge sigh. We have had our differences but I think I will try and exercise more forgiveness and less judgment.
Last night I had choir practice. Music brings so much peace. I think I shall retire to my i-pod for tonight.
I think that is one of the major reasons Heavenly Father brings children into our lives. I know I am more encouraged to improve when I have a child either mimicking my bad behavior or reminding me that it is a bad behavior. Good luck on Day 8. You CAN do it!
ReplyDeleteFolks who diet, will be tempted if they cheat and have a donut (or whatever) and then tell themselves they can't do it, "Look I had a donut@!" I am so...whatever...
ReplyDeletePerhaps they should remember that they went 6 days without a donut.
Look at how well you have done, not at your mistakes....
Dwell on what you can do and did accomplish.
We all are cheering for you! You want to do this, so you can do this!
ReplyDeleteYou go kid! We all believe in you and love you.
What papamichael said! I agree wholeheartedly. :)
ReplyDeleteAnd I think that perhaps you needed to show yourself that it both tastes horrible and makes you feel horrible now. Now you won't have to wonder, and it may help curb the psychological cravings, you know? Not to sound cliche, but things happen for a reason.
I like that you threw it out before finishing it; questioning what you were doing. Your mind fought it off! This has already been a big accomplishment and your confidence will grow as it gets bigger.
Please watch Juniper's video again. :)