post 11

I have been procrastinating this post. Mainly because I am embarrassed and ashamed.  This first month of my goal has proven to be disappointing.  I have utterly failed at my first serious attempt at quitting. To this end I feel like a failure.  As I search for the words to try explain it dawns on me that there is no adequate explanation.  So I will not even attempt to describe the myriad of events that led me to picking back up the the bad habits.  However, one thing needs to be made clear. I AM NOT GIVING UP!

Back to the drawing board, back to square one.

Today I called the tobacco quit line. 1-800-QUIT-NOW (for Oregon).  I talked to this delightful lady named Esther.  We set a new quit date. February 1st.  She also pointed out that it seems a lot of my triggers are stress related so she gave me several relaxation tips and techniques that I am to start employing immediately.  She also gave me a great idea of taking a straw, trimming it down to cigarette length, soaking a piece of cotton in vanilla extract or menthol and sticking it in the straw to simulate the physical motion of smoking. I will also be receiving free nicotine gum, and additional quitting pamphlets.  She also gave me a number of resources both online and via live group sessions where I will meet others who are striving to quit as well.  I will be posting links and resources here once I have researched all the necessary legal permissions.

As a further proactive activity to change my day to day activities I have compiled a list of books to read.  So as part of this blog I will be doing mini book reviews.  I figure if I ever want to be considered a legitimate writer with a prayer for publishing; I need to exercise my mental muscles. I also need to pay homage to the great writers that have changed the world with their words.

So that being said here is my first review; Maus by Art Spiegleman.  This book was loaned and referred to me by my friend Heather who I have only known for a short time but has quickly become one of my dearest friends. She is also one of my most vocal supporters in this endeavor.  But I digress, this book is AMAZING!!! It should be required reading for everyone.  I actually had a really interesting conversation with a cab driver last night about this book.  World War two was a horrific chapter in humanities history and what happened should never be forgotten.  This was a story about one survivor written by his son.  It is a graphic novel written in a comic book format. It is brilliant.  At times quite disturbing.  But I believe that people need to be disturbed in this way from time to time.  It is our duty to remember the holocaust so as to never let it happen again.  It also humbled me and as I sit and write about my struggle against my own petty addictions. I realize that I have had a comfortable life.  I could have had it so much worse and I need to be grateful. I also need to take advantage of all the opportunities that my good life has afforded me.  I will strive not to take anything or anyone for granted anymore.  

Quote of the day "You must be the change you want to see in the world." - Mahatma Ghandi